BUS STATION'S WEAPON OF MASS DISTRACTION

Staff at a west London bus station are using classical music as a psychological weapon against loitering teenagers and sleeping tramps.

This isn't a made up thing, honest.. and it's more widespread than you might think. During the day the arias and symphonies fed through the public address system at the Hammersmith bus depot lend the place a warming background sound. It almost allows you to forget about the surly looking police eyeing the dangerous looking teenagers intimidating the frail looking grannies as they scurry for the exit.... one eye on handbag.

But in the dead of night - when the above are tucked up in bed, this place becomes more frightening still. A late night hub for the assorted all sorts that drift in from around West London. And perhaps that's why the attendants strategically blast out Bach and Beethoven at abnormally loud levels - targeting the different groups with different loudspeakers making it uncomfortable for the undesirables to hang around too long and impossible for anyone to steal a crafty sleep on their hard metal benches.

They've been at it for at least two years now, on and off, stressing people out with the sound of Szyubert, mercilessly torturing them with Tchaikovsky - At such a volume it's almost impossible for the hapless late night traveller to read a bus timetable and mandatory for them to go home with a headache. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart himself - imagine him if you will (for it can be amusing) pale and thin, Big Mac in one hand, violin in the other, scurrying up the escalator for the N97 to Aldwych - the poor sickly devil would no doubt spin in his grave if he knew the art he once slaved over was being used like this.

Hmm. Funny. But it's not really. The security staff at Hammersmith aren't the first to think of it.... not by a long shot. The technique is known as 'Acoustic bombardment.' Developed by the US military as part of their non lethal weapons programme around fifteen years ago, it's been used to end sieges, help fight battles and yes as part of the 'interrogation process' at Guantanamo Bay. According to documents gained through freedom of information requests, Barney the Dinosaur and the Sesame Street theme tune were two of the favorites there.

Using music as a weapon to break people down and bend them to your will...I'm not seriously suggesting for a moment Hammersmith bus station are trying to torture tramps and teenagers...of course not...thin end of a worrying wedge though?